I recently had a friend who took his life. It caught a lot of people by surprise. Not to mention his family that he left behind. Though I can't imagine what was in his mind at that moment..what I can truly say..it was the most selfish act ever against his family and close friends.
My thoughts and words are not intended to bash him for this act. I wasn't in his shoes to even know his mindset. However..not a damn thing noble in his fate. And he sure is hell is not a hero in this tragedy. Its selfish..and if you believe in Heaven and Hell..he's pretty much F'd and will probably be swimming in fire for the rest of eternity. Enough of the spiritual text.
What I wanted to focus on is the impact that it can have on a family..and child(ren) involved..especially if child(ren) are too young to truly understand.
I had a conversation, via a friend, with someone who lost their mother to suicide when she was eight years old. 13 years later..the pain, anger, depression and feelings of abandonment still linger, but not like they used too. She's lived more of her live without her mother. To this day..she still has dreams/nightmares of how it all played out.
During those first 10 years..she carried the heavy load of the suicide every waking moment. She had counseling twice a week. Once she turned 18..she knew she had to take a stand..to truly find the means of healing. So began her journey of sharing her story with schools, churches, youth programs, whoever. It was her way of trying to cleanse herself..as well as bringing attention to the impact this selfish act can have on young people.
There are over 30,000 suicides every year in the United States. Every suicide has an impact on individuals, families and communities..hundreds of thousands of survivors of suicide are created every year.
Today, her mind, body and soul are lighter despite the fact that her mother was gone..by suicide. She stepped into her darkness and came out the other side brighter and happier..by simple sharing her story and knowing people were genuinely interested in listening to her. She's gone back to laughing and smiling..and living.
However..not all suicides have this kind of "happy ending". I found a research done in Sweden that shows how it can actually turn into a cycle.
To carry out the study, researchers focused on statistical data that spanned over the course of thirty years for a group of people in Sweden. Parents involved in the data had either died through suicide, through an accident, or through an illness, or were still alive. The children of these parents were then analyzed for their subsequent rates of psychiatric hospitalization, convictions of violent crime, and death. The study found that children whose parent died through suicide were three times as likely as children with living parents to commit suicide themselves, though this discrepancy disappeared when the children were eighteen or older at the time of the parent’s death. Children whose parent died in an accident while the child was thirteen years of age or younger were twice as likely as kids with living parents to commit suicide, and this tendency likewise disappeared in children of older ages. The death of a parent as the result of illness did not seem to have any impact on suicide rates.
The study highlights the potential for harm among children who experience the death of a parent by suicide before their eighteenth birthday, and researchers suggest that this finding provides ample evidence for the monitoring and distribution of care to kids in such situations. Through providing the right kinds and amounts of support, therapists and other professionals may be able to help break the cycle of suicide in families.
I can't imagine how or what is going through one's mind when they are "staring down into a heartless sea before jumping". However, its safe to say that they discounted those who would be left behind. Again, thee most selfish act.
You are not a martyr. There is nothing daring with your escape. Obviously along the way..someone made surrender seem alright to you. And now you've slammed the door..and turned your back on those closest to you. Very sad..
Feel free to share your thoughts and/or opinions. Peace out my HALEYUNNS!
